In the past 2 weeks...

I was around 2 girls who suddenly and randomly had emotional breakdowns.

I made 2 other girls cry after reading something i wrote.

And today, another one suddenly and randomly broke down after reading something i wrote.

___-_-___

After many days of searching for the book Pride and Prejudice at several popular bookstores, i found a copy on the dining table today. Seems Marianne was using it as her literature text.

___-_-___

I was arranging to meet an old classmate at Times Square in KL and give Kimberly (who was with me) a surprise. On the way up, she called.

Classmate: I'm leaving the school now. Be there in 2 hours.

Justin: We'll be there at about 1.30pm.

How long will you be there for?

About 45 minutes.

You want me to spend 2 hours just getting there to spend 45 minutes with you all?

Go and die lah!

No prizes for guessing the classmate.

___-_-___

Life is short guys. Time passes so fast.

Fighting Spiders' 2nd last episode airs tomorrow.

It's not too late to repent if you haven't been watching.

Now time to see how the boys survive without the alpha female Sam around.

Conclusion

I know i should post something but not sure what.

Appeal status Current status : NUS regrets that your appeal is unsuccessful. Last Appeal Received : 03 JUN 2009. Last Mode of Appeal : ONLINE APPEAL FORM.

So i guess that's it then.

Makes me wonder what the past 3 years have been about.

But it is okay. Because a few years from now i won't be asking the same question once i can look at the whole matter from hindsight. For now, FASS, here i come.

In other news i could do the right thing without having the bittersweet aftertaste of giving something up. I was given a moral choice, i took the tougher road and things came out tops.

Because now, I'm doing the right thing no longer merely because i want to do the right thing. Doing the right thing sometimes involves uncomfortable sacrifices that that kind of reasoning cannot stand against. See my former post titled Girls.

And why suddenly so holy? I got stuck in church for 2 hours alone last friday. Life changing. I had forgotten that christianity was not a religion but a relationship. Marilyn could listen to Adam Lambert's words- his songs, and write fan mail, but that doesn't constitute communication or a relationship. In the same way i was reading God's word and praying for people, but it didn't constitute a relationship.

So i spent some time placing everything back in God's hands. then i felt my burden was lighter. He now held my worries for my future, dreams, ambitions, talents, friends, family, wife and life. Like Norma Desmond once said:

Peace can only come when you surrender

I'll see you again when i surrender

So we're back on track again. Time to go save the world.

I haven't said that in... years... wow.

Hello God, long time no see!

And to conclude, yesterday i found out i made 2 girls cry after reading words that i had written. That made me want to cry. I was so happy.

La la la la la.

I may have given everything up to God, but he has made sure i haven't lost everything.

La la la la la.

By the way, we're down to the final 2 episodes of Fighting Spiders. This week's episode was drama! Things have changed. I didn't have much hope for Tony and Annie before coz...

Tony had to choose between gang and Annie. Tony chose gang.

Annie had a more stable alternative option- a doctor going after her.

2 points against them getting back together.

But just this week the whole gang got killed in a shootout and Annie's doctor boyfriend revealed his dark nature. So it's hu-rah for Tony and Annie's last chance to reunite. Hurry too, it's only left to 2 episodes! Chances are good too, a boxer ex-gangster like Tony is the kind of person Annie can turn to when dealing with a pervert.

So to conclude my conclusion, oh man... In 2 weeks time i'll have no one else's life to watch. I'll need to live my own life! Oh the horror.

Not forgetting the kite flying bully beating tomboy Sam is back and now part of a love triangle. Woah!

Sam in Fighting Spiders season 2 when she turns 16.

So to conclude my conclusion that i had previously concluded, love God. Not love his book or love writing fanmail to him. Love him like you would a father, a brother, and a friend who gave you life and his life. And when you love him and let him take charge of your life, he'll make it meaningful and happy for you.

Trust me on that, I gave him everything, and he gave me Fighting Spiders to watch on youtube even after i missed an episode on TV and fell into despair. (click on the link to see how Sam looks like in season 1)

On feet, nails and other rotten stuff

Marianne put my feet on her lap and took out her nail polish.

Would i get foot-rot from touching your feet? She asked.

Maybe, but footrot is most commonly spread through water droplets.

So do you clean up the shower after you bathe?

Of course, i spray it down with water, pour Dettol and finally swipe whatever water is left into the drain with my feet.

I'm not sure why but she then painted all of my toe nails bright and shimmering.

Letter

To my dearest wife,

The bed's been quite empty without you here. There's a distinct feeling i get in the house that something's missing. It's not an obvious kind of thing... i know no one else in the house feels it, but i do. I miss you.

Things have not been as great as they used to. The dreams i had are not really coming true the way i hoped they would. I've spent all my efforts on getting into Medical College i haven't been close to people for a while. And now that i didn't get in, i'm left with nothing. Yeah... I wish you could be here now, holding me in your arms and telling me that it's going to be alright. I may have lost all else, but to have you by my side is still more than i could ever wish for. I love you.

I'm not going to hide the truth from you. It's tough being without you and it's tough being true to you when you're not here. There are so many nice girls around who are gentle and kind, who would go out of their way for others. But i chose to be alone, to be away from them. There are so many picture of girls as attractive as can be in magazines, TV, and posters. But i stay away from them too. It's difficult and it even hurts to abstain, but i know you would want me to. And i too want to be as perfect and pure as i can for you, because you are worth it.

It's time to turn in. I'll be thinking of you before i close my eyes, imagining all the things we could do once we're together. I can't wait to see you.

Love,

Justin

Horror of horrors

The following post contains images that may be

disturbing or unsuitable for young viewers.

Viewer discretion is advised.

I was on my way to the driving centre.

I had taken a new bus route and alighted at a bus-stop i had never been to before.

I sat down beneath the shelter, awaiting my transfer bus.

Then i saw it. Lying on the ground behind the bus shelter, almost hidden by the bushes.

The body of a poor baby, abandoned.

The Dark Night

Winter's night in London.

I was comfortably tucked under the sheets in a bed fit for a princess.

Rachel, my host who had so kindly given up her bed for me, was at the door.

She entered the room and picked up a stone on the shelf.

This is a piece of a lighthouse in Italy, said to be one of the most haunted places in the world. In one instance, the lighthouse keeper murdered his wife and kid and hacked them to bits.

Rachel gently placed the stone back on the shelf.

Well, goodnight.

She switched off the lights and left, closing the door behind her.

I used to think she was an angel.

___-_-___

Today she sent me a link to a picture of the lighthouse.

For the First Time in My Life

I made a major decision regarding a girl, and i didn't feel any sense of regret after it was made.

It was such a relief.

For the first time in my life, it didn't feel wrong- like a mistake i should not have made or a road i should not have not taken.

I felt peace.

I feel i'm whole again.

I feel like a poet who has found his pen.

I feel like the boy who was lost and found.

I feel complete.

I'm back.

Joy.

I'm happy.

I hope it lasts.

Thank you Lord. Thank you so, so much.

Please help this to work out.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

Malnourishment

If Bruce Wayne got too involved as Batman and forgot to live as Bruce, Wayne Enterprises would fail and he would lose everything he had.

If you want to burn the candle on both sides, you better have a very long candle.

The more you burn on one side, the less you have for the other.

Justin goes to friend. Says he's depressed. Says Life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Friend says "Answer is simple. The Great Counsellor GuardiAngel is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Justin bursts into tears. Says, "But friend... I am GuardiAngel." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll On snare drum. Curtains.

Surprise!

I decided to open my mailbox today.

It was just a hunch.

I felt i would find something.

The last time i had such a hunch i thought a letter from NUS was coming.

I was half right, a letter from Vellore in india came.

I opened the letter box and there was a parcel.

Surprise!

No, it's not from NUS Medicine telling me that they are un-rejecting me.

But it's my order flown at top speed from UK, arriving an entire week ahead of schedule.

It's the movie adaptation of my favorite book,

Lost & Found

by Oliver Jeffers!

Now on DVD

Life is meaningful again, at least for the next 50 minutes of running time.

Went shopping with some church friends yesterday.

Was in a comics shop with the guys when the girls who were at the christian bookshop next door came over giggling. They had found a book that they said perfectly described me.

Oh no... i thought about how bad this could be.

So i went over to find out what title they thought would suit a book about me.

And i did not expect it.

Buried inside every young man is the potential to change the world

Deep within the rugged soul of every man, there is a warrior in search of his sword and a poet in search of his pen. But heroic, prince-like masculinity is something most women only dream of in today's perverse and self-serving world.

It's probably one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.