Real Fear

I was in Cebu for a holiday on the 29th of December 2006. My family had just finished dinner at our beach resort room and I headed out to the beach to take a look at the stars. My sister and I had a brief peek at them before dinner when the sky was still clear.


But now it was cloudy.
Not a single star was in sight.


I moved closer to the shore and stood at the top corner of a low embankment looking at the sea.
It was night. And it was dark.
Something in me is attracted to such an overwhelming scene. As I saw the dark clouds and dark water, I began to feel uneasy.


"This is what I call real fear."


The voice that had almost instantly broken the sense of awe that I had at this larger than life scene was that of Lyn, my little god-sister whom we brought along for this trip.


"This is not fake fear, like if you are afraid of ghost. This is real fear."


I realised then that phobias are personal fears that people have. I may be afraid of something that you am not- that's a phobia confined to an individual. But the uneasiness I felt while facing this awesome scene was also felt by my god-sister. That's what she calls real fear- It's something universal.


I looked again at the scene. The sky was cloudy and intimidating. The heavy storm clouds were gathering and I was expecting a bolt of lightning anytime. The black outline of the palm trees were being thrown around by the wind. The sea was dark in the distance, and closer to shore the white lines of waves were crashing on the sand just beneath the embankment. I was standing at the edge of the ledge, just a short distance above the wrath. Once again, I felt that uneasiness in my heart and


"You know if someone really wanted to commit suicide I would ask them to walk into the sea instead of jumping off a building."


I tried in vain to put the pause button on my overwhelmed emotions before turning to put an arm around her.


"If they jump off a building they only take one step and then they cannot change their mind. If they go into the sea and change their mind at least they can swim back."


Point taken. This little girl is thinking beyond her age, and somehow she reminds me of how I used to think a lot... and I still do... since I had a large amount of time that I spent alone. I felt a drop of rain land on my lip and asked Lyn to bring the chair back under shelter.


I then went down to the sand and stood before the waves. It was here before the formidable scene, now with the addition of rain, that I truly understood what it meant to have the fear of the Lord. If the majesty and power in his creation alone can make man tremble, what more the Lord God himself? As much as I know him as a loving God, there is a certain sense of awe and respect that I should always have- The Fear of The Lord that I should always be conscious of.


then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
-Proverbs 2:5


Then as a wing enfolded me so I felt both comfort and awesome respect at the same time, my heart was moved by the truly sublime experience to sing,
When the oceans rise
And thunders roar
I will soar with you
Above the storm
Father you are


"You look like you are going to commit suicide"


You know, my Lord... You really like to remind me that you are the creator of this little thing called humor.



On a side note, while walking back to the room, I realized that this little cowardly girl dared to come into the open facing the elements because of only one thing- Someone else she could trust dared to. And that subconscious influence that an older someone has on a child… is something not to be taken lightly.


But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
-Matthew 18:6