Broken Wings

On the 4th of November I had dinner with a group of friends at a rather run down canteen. Though there were several others whom I knew in the area, only these 3 came for dinner with me. The dinner was not a planned one and neither was the company, but I now know that God had intend for this group to meet. He had sent his angels to help me recover from a painful week.


The Knights of the Round Table
Sitting on my left was The Rainbow Girl. She had been by my side through this week and knew what I was going through. But more than that, she knew where I was coming from.


Opposite me was Tricia, another whom I was talking to and helping. She understood too because she had seen this side of me.


On my right was Theresa. She was actually the one I followed in the "Angel in the Night" entry. Since then, I found out that she was an angel in her own right; helping many others deal with their emotional burdens, including myself. I thank God for letting me find someone who not just understood where I was coming from, but also who I really am, because she... was like me; like how she knew how lonely it was being the pillar of strength for the people around.


The last person at the round table was me, an Angel wannabe with broken wings who felt no one knew the pain he was going through.


I was in good company.


The week for me had been tough as I felt the things my friends were saying to me were hurtful. It was not that they intended to hurt me; no, they are nice people, but the words they used belittled me and made me feel small. Everything I did or said was made fun of, and that made me withdraw when with the group. I began to feel different; The kind of different that people avoid.


I am different. And I know it. I was challenged by one of the adult helpers at youth to "be radically different", and I took it up. But being different meant that people could very easily misunderstand me. In the case of my helping people, especially girls, by talking to them, it was read by others as me coming on too strong in trying to "get the girl". I guess it didn't help when my friend asked if I think of a girl as a challenge I said yes. Winning the challenge to me was not winning over the girl, but breaking through with her so that she can share her problems with me and I in turn can help her find the help she needs. And I'm even more careful when it comes to counseling girls because when emotions are involved, it is a more dangerous situation to be in. So I'm actually playing a different game with different rules. Not many know that, thus my enthusiasm to ''save the world" sometimes makes me seem like a way off Casanova wannabe. And that... (along with, of course, my very different character) I felt was getting me teased.


It's amazing how just a few words can break someone. When the rest stop laughing you know that the teasing is getting a little overdone. And soon after, even the most innocent of jokes begins to tear away at someone. A week this way had worn away all my resolve and broken my confidence.


Thank God for good company. I wasn't the only one at the round table who had been hurt before in this way. As I shared my pain, the others began to open up about how they each faced discrimination and teasing in their own lives. Suddenly I didn't feel alone any more.


Ironic how our greatest pain often comes from our unknowing friends.


For the first time in a long time I was encouraged by my friends to be different, and my strength was finally recovered. It's not true that we can stand alone. When I was broken by others, I could not worship. And it took a few of God's angels to answer my prayer to save me and bring me back to him.


Never underestimate how God can use you to minister to others. And never underestimate how God can use others to minister to you.