Tears and Fears

I had a dream that i was talking to someone presently in the guards camp that i was once in.

He was a christian, and he was struggling in camp.

He just wanted to give up. Was it all worth it? He asked.

I looked at him. He looked like me. So i said to the Justin of a year ago.

When i look back, I thank God and say...

I had to paused here. I had never said what i was about to say before. The words were so heavy my teardrops started to well up with the great burden of bearing their weight. Had i known the amount of hurt, pain and suffering i was about to endure at the beginning, would i have ever taken this road? I gave him my answer

It was worth it. Serving You was all worth it.

I guess i finally understand why dad cried when he sent me off.

He knew the suffering would be plenty,

but he also knew i would be able to grow through much hardship.

It's not common for me to wake up in tears.