Psychology

I've been mugging Psychology till it's coming out of my ears and loving every moment of it. There is no other subject that you can apply what you learnt so immediately and commonly.

For example, i was studying about how the brain remembers things and was trying to figure out how to memorise all this info when i realised the answer was staring right at me.

Woah. Use psychology to study psychology.

But this creates a problem. Because i could look and analyse any action or word mentioned by anyone i come across psychologically (and i tend to do so), i'm starting to over work my brain in a phenomenon people call thinking too much.

Example: We learnt the laws of proximity (things close together are assumed to be together) and continuity (things that are traveling in the same direction are assumed to be together). I started laughing because read it as if the laws were used to tell if a guy and a girl were a couple.

Somehow my highly adaptive and creative brain has compensated for this over usage by creating a new user account, Psychologist Justin (let's call him PsyJ), in my brain. So normal Justin would be talking to a friend, while PsyJ would whisper in my ear that he notices how the person's body language has changed and is talking to me the way he would talk only to his close friends, which means he's comfortable with me.

I think i just started down a long and sad road of split personality.

I also analyse people and i know who would do what under certain circumstances. In other words i can put myself very easily in the shoes of someone i know and think the way they do.

As you can see, i have activated many new parts of my brain and am using them with so much curiosity. But these... are uncharted waters in my mind. And one night, when there was a lot of stress, i began to lose control.

Stress was beginning to fill my head and the hormonal balance was changing. Never really a problem before, but this time there was a lot more in my head that was getting affected. Normally i would only hear 2 voices, me and PsyJ, debating over an issue. Now several other personalities that i had (either of myself in other mental states or just the mental personalities of the people i had analysed) were beginning to talk as well. This was bad- i was hearing too many voices in my head and they were out of control. I tried to sleep but could not silence the competing shouting voices.

Can't fight the voices in my head. Can't shout louder than them. Never mind. This is my brain and i can do whatever i want in it.

Somehow, my years of fighting thoughts of temptation beforehand helped (thank God...) and i pulled he same method here and it worked. I imagined a blue floor in my mind that melted every thought that touched it. I was in the middle of it and all the other personalities around began to melt into the blue and the dim and the dark. Many others came out of the darker corners of my mind, some twisted and scary, but i didn't fear them as they melted away the moment they touched the blue.

It was quiet then, and i found myself- right in the middle of the blue, fading slowly.

And then there was silence.

Sleep had come at last.