Bite Sized Chunks

Internet is down,

Life is upside down.

Here's a post of everything i've wanted to say for the past weeks.

___-_-___

Results for my entrance exam to the Indian College come out this Friday.

Results for NUS Medicine between May and early July.

I'm tired of thinking about what may happen. I've already explored the consequences of getting into Medicine in Singapore or India or both or none a hundred times each and i'm tired. Now i just try to stop thinking and wait. Enough...

___-_-___

I've been feeling guilty about how i spend my time now. No work, no school, no life. I'm staying away from counseling people, i'm staying clear of commitments and responsibilities. I'm sleeping in late and staying up late. I'm doing nothing that contributes to my future and thus feeling no sense of purpose and fulfillment in my life.

guilty, guilty, guilty.

But at the young adults weekend away i poured out to God how i felt and he replied with the idea of seasons. Sure you are feeling guilty of slacking now, but think of it this way- if  things work out like you hope... You're not going to be able to slack for such an extended period of time for the next... 10 years or so?

With that in mind i slept in bed till noon, ate brunch, then slept in my sister's bed while she was in school till dinner. And didn't feel that bad.

___-_-___

Of all the things i miss... I realize i miss relationships from certain periods of time most. 

It's not about missing a person, it's missing doing something in particular with that person, or group.

I miss my days in the TK choir spent preparing for our Big River musical. We'd come to school everyday during our school holidays and spend our entire day enjoying ourselves singing and acting as if we lived in the times of Huckleberry Finn.

I miss swimming lessons with the Lee family that always ended with the 2 Mariannes and 2 Wen-Jies playing in the Katong Swimming pool, diving and jumping into the water in all sorts of manners. And playing Marco Polo too.

I miss jamming with Shaun every Saturday before Faith Factor. I learnt the drums, bass and guitar then and we really played as one. Not to mention the amazing talent i was learning from.

I miss the year Rachel Berry looked out for me. She always had the answers to all the problems i was facing and nothing seemed too difficult with her behind me. Even now, 4 years later, i still find myself sometimes wishing she's around to help make light my heavy struggles.

Just to name a few times i forgot the outside world existed.

Point is... I'm still in contact with my TK choir friends, i still see the Lees every other week, i still talk to Shaun at Young Adults and i still can find Rachel online when i stay up to be in her time zone.

But the magic of the moment is lost.

There will be seasons in life of great joy, and seasons in life of great distress. Don't you dare feel guilty enjoying yourself when your life may seem better than others because soon, all you'll have is the memories and the wish that you had treasured the moments more.

I better go take and treasure an afternoon nap while i can.

___-_-___

Spider-Man 2 was on yesterday.

Spider man fights so hard for people who know not his struggles or appreciate him for his efforts. No one helps him, no one understands. In the end, he gives up.

There is one struggle in life we guys face that the girls will never really understand. And if they don't realise how difficult our struggle is or appreciate our efforts, and if they don't help us... We might well give up, and give in.

For the struggle for purity is always against our instinctive logic.

Man's fascination with Vampires is because their bloodlust parallels almost completely the male lust.

"Isn't it about time someone saved you?" - Mary Jane Watson

___-_-___

A lot of my gal friends tell it's good to marry within your own church. 

In my church, there are 4 dudes and 2 gals my age.

Not a good ratio. 

No problem though, i can look outside of my own church.

But if girls in other churches don't want to marry outside of their own church...

Then Jon Ma will really have a good laugh when we're 40 and i'm still talking about marriage.

___-_-"___